The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation. Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer 'Il Capitan'.
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
I know what I’m doing this summer.
Remember that episode of Teen Titans where Mumbo turns everyone into animals and Beast Boy’s all, “LOL I ALREADY DO THAT” so Mumbo turns him into a lamp.
